"Do you remember the good old days when sleeping with the President meant you attended a cabinet meeting?" -- The inimitable P.J. O'Rourke

Here's hoping that the newest President of the United States of America, Barack Obama, can keep it in his pants around women who aren't the mother of his (lovely) daughters. And even if he can't, I implore him to have the decency to not get caught. Oh, and also to give me a call.

Brockman's Gin is my new firm favourite alcohol. Since I was young, I've loved the slightly bitter taste of tonic water, so favouring a classic Gin and Tonic cocktail was inevitable for me. The problem is that none of the gins I've tried before have ever tasted even mildly ok on their own, or in a cocktail. Sure, I like girly fruity drinks with little umbrellas and a certain pink slushiness, but I love a really complex taste in my drinks too. Twentysomethings cannot survive on but one cocktail choice alone, right?

A friend, knowing my taste for gin, suggested I try Brockman's over ice. Insisting I don't like any alcohol straight up, I resisted for ages. After some hefty persuasion, my friend managed to get me to try it. I was impressed. I, lover of pink fruity drinks, drank straight gin and liked it. I feel this is even more revolutionary than Katy Perry kissing a girl and liking it. Girls are often likeable. Straight alcohol is usually not. As nice as it is all by itself, Brockman's is even more lovely in a cocktail, especially one featuring fresh blackberries.

Enchanted by my new discovery, I started investigating this mysterious new brand. They have a fabulous website with a very cool integrated art video feature. As beautiful as it is, I'd very much appreciate a discretely designed control panel for the video-- play, pause, etc. My internet connection is very tenuous and it is such a shame for the video to stall, I would prefer to be able to pause it to allow it to load a little bit more to enjoy it fully. Anyway, the website is spot-on otherwise, very seductive and artistic. The short film in full is a real treat and well worth watching if you have a spare six minutes.

This beautiful drink fully deserves five out of five Consumerista Kisses for rehabilitating me from my dislike for straight-up alcohol.

The product bottom line...
How much it costs: £32.99 for a 70cl bottle from The Purveyor
How much it's worth: Who can put a price on a truly lush evening drink?
Should you buy it? If you like gin and would love a g & t right now, yes. If you're teetotal, maybe not.

Agree? Disagree? Want to ask questions? Leave me comments.

I don't know about you, but I always get remarkably overwhelmed by hair products. Obviously, I know I need a shampoo and a conditioner. After that I just get confused. Should they always be used with their matching counterpart? Do they work better together, or is this just manufacturing hype? If my hair is dry and coloured, which one of those is more important? If I occasionally have dandruff should I be using a dandruff shampoo instead? Do expensive brands make my hair look better? Do drugstore versions work just as well? Who the hell knows!?

After years of religiously buying matching sets of hair stuffs, I have come to realize that you probably don't need a set. You have to find the individual shampoo and conditioner that works for your hair.

As for me, my hair should be in diabolically fried condition. It's very (un-naturally) platinum blonde and I have to get the roots done every four weeks, which means my scalp is way too familiar with the bleach. However, my years of experimenting have luckily paid off and my hair is in fantastic condition considering how fucked it should be. I've figured out I need to use a strengthening shampoo almost every time I wash my hair, as my hair is prone to weakness and being brittle without. The best one I've found is the slightly pricey Kerastase Resistance Bain De Force shampoo, which is excellent. It lathers well, smells pleasant enough (quite clean and soapy), and leaves my hair feeling very reinforced. Once a week I use a toner (to banish yellowness in my hair) instead of a shampoo, and the super bargain 99p Superdrug Colour Effects 8:1 in Cool Blonde works a treat. One small bottle is enough for about 3 applications making it a fabulously thrifty and effective way to keep your super bleached hair ashy and cool-toned rather than resembling Big Bird's barnet.

As for conditioner? Well I personally have to properly grease up my hair like I'm Danny Zuko on prom night or it would be a fragile, weak mess. I've tried practically every conditioning product currently available to buy in the UK, but the very best I've found is the maximum conditioning L'Oreal Elvive Nutri Ceramide Deep Repair Mask. It comes in a stout pot, rather like a face cream, which makes application slightly trickier than from a normal bottle when you're in the shower. However the product is well worth the little bit of extra effort necessary to juggle the packaging. It leaves your hair incredibly soft, shiny, and tangle-free. The smell is ok and at under a fiver it's cheap as a Mickey D's meal. If your hair is as chemically processed as mine, you should make this one part of your regular routine. If your locks only occasionally need a deep sort out, you might find it useful once a week or fortnight. It's definitely a brilliant product, especially for the price range. I get all nervous when I notice it's running out and run to Boots to top up my supply!

As for my review, all three products get five out of five stars from me, as they are the best I've found to take care of my hair so far: Kerastase Resistance Bain De Force Shampoo, Superdrug Colour Effects in Cool Blonde, and L'Oreal Elvive Nutri Ceramide Deep Repair Mask. I promise to name and shame some of the pretenders to the hair throne in a future post!

Agree? Disagree? Want to ask questions? Leave me comments.

While I'm no fur-flouring vegetarian, I can't say I'm totally thrilled about the amount of animal bits compacted into modern cosmetics. Bat poo in mascara? Fish scales in lipstick? Cattle brain cells in moisturizer? Whale vomit in perfume? Beetle juice in... well, just about anything coloured red?

B Never Too Busy to Be Beautiful cosmetics produce an entire colour cosmetics range that is Vegan friendly. Their products are quality, and while they're not quite MAC Pro standard they're still very good. B has opened a new shop on Oxford Street that is very attractively laid out and well-staffed. The only problem I can think of is the overwhelming smell, far too reminiscent of their sister company Lush. As much as I like the Lush products individually, everyone knows that walking by the shop with all of the odours wafting out together transports you to a hippie soap making compound in the 60s. Only fun when you're high.

Anyway, the lure of giant sparkling mirrors and massive kaleidoscopic displays of makeup led me into the shop in the first place, and the cruelty and yuckiness free policy kept me browsing for a while. My friend Miss Marilyn McNugget and I quickly found that our hands morphed into colouring books inside the B shop.

While I realize that eating giant slabs of animal flesh daily probably excludes me from being uncomfortable with the odd fish scale in my lipstick, I'm still way happier with a decent vegan cosmetic option. It seems that only the most icky parts and byproducts of animals end up in cosmetics-- I'm surprised they don't use hippo snot in foundation. The problem is that it is very difficult to find completely animal-free makeup options that don't suck like a Dyson on crystal meth. B is the solution, as far as I can tell. The pigments used in the makeup are delectably vibrant, the colours coming out as beautifully on your hand (or, you know, face) as in the container. Speaking of containers, B also features absolutely gorgeous packaging. Bejewelled and sparkly, the little pots of eyeshadow and powder would be a key feature on your vanity table. This is makeup to be displayed, not hidden away like a dirty little secret.

After a little (ok ok LONG) while of browsing, I decided to purchase one of their cream eyeshadows (£12) in a delicious bright bronze colour, B Dazzled. It is a similar shade to Urban Decay's eyeshadow in Baked. Both have the fabulous effect of making my rather boring grey blue eyes look supernaturally bright blue. While the Urban Decay shadow tends to fade a bit throughout the day no matter how much of their primer you use, the B cream eyeshadow stays firmly put through rain, hail, sleet and snow. The most clever thing about their cream eyeshadow is actually that it is packaged as an eye liner with a fine brush, so you can use it either as a cream eyeshadow or as an eye liner. It does both jobs surprisingly well, not sacrificing any substance for style or vice versa.

When I used the B Dazzled shade the other day as both a shadow and a liner, resulting in a very intense bronze eye, I was stopped in the street by about half a dozen men asking me take me somewhere to buy me a drink. While I declined all of the above, the attention was certainly gratifying. I'll have to keep my B Dazzled in my bag in case I'm broke and at a bar. Where have you been all my life, B???

Five out of five Consumerista Kisses from me.

The shop bottom line...
Products available: Fabulous vegan friendly full colour cosmetics range
Value for money: Could be a little bit cheaper, but the packaging really is gorgeous (though the bohemian kitsch look they sport is the total opposite from the fetishized sleekness of MAC)
Should you go there? If you like fluffy bunnies, but not in your makeup, then absolutely yes

Agree? Disagree? Want to ask questions? Leave me comments.

"To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so." -- The comedically gifted Robert Orben

"Porn Industry Wants $5 Billion Bailout" -- From Breitbart.tv and CNN

Look into my eyes... you are getting sleeepy, very very sleeepy... I saw Paul McKenna's I Can Make You Sleep in the window of a bookstore the other day. He's right. Best part is, I don't even need to open the book for it to work. Genius.

According to Wired, "Obama's Presidential Limo Will Be a 'Rolling Tank With Windows'"

Personally, I'm positive he'll regularly check the tires himself to make sure they're inflated to capacity.

The last person I ever expected to publicly promote is Jason Mraz, but his song "Details in the Fabric" (from 2008 album We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.) is beautiful and worthy of praise, even from this cynic who is today bitter like a bitter person on a bitter day. I heard "Details in the Fabric" on the newest episode of Without a Trace and it's been stuck in my head ever since.

Five out of five Consumerista Kisses.

Agree? Disagree? Want to ask questions? Leave me comments.

"Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them." -- From the Brain Candy Insults Collection